The Real Depression Problem

What is depression? If we wanted to boil it down into the simplest idea. What would that be?

Umm...

Stop. No. Wrong way.

The "if's" and "but's" don't matter.

The mechanics of it, don't matter.

All that matters is the end result.

Stop trying to take it apart. You will not fix it that way.

The core problem is self-motivation, or lack-there-of. Just look at it. Stagnant. Stationary. Static. Still. Frozen. Unable to move.

In the worst cases, the only option left to do is to make them earn basic necessities until the individual begins to comply.

Honestly, the real problem is the enabling environment for this type of behavior.

If you haven't noticed, they have it WAY too easy.

Make life harder for them. No, not like that. Don't throw the book at them. Be nice. Take it easy. But push them anyway. Not because you're being mean, but because it is what they need to hear.

Does that make sense? I hope so. Because it works. I've done it over and over.

The trick is simply not giving them an "out", allowing them to go back to their teeny tiny comfort zone. Make them come out. Otherwise it will just take forever, and you have better things to do with your time.

Remember. This doesn't have to be a 1, 2, 5, or 10 year problem. This can be reversed in 6 months. With the right kind of persistent pushing, or coaching, while being polite, respectful, but firm... this combination will out-persist any resistance.

Step 1. Always start with physical activity. It doesn't have to be exercise, but they do have to move... and it has to require effort on their part.

The "effort" muscle is what we're building.

Step 2. Celebrate little victories. Every step in the right direction needs to be emphasized! Remember... they are depressed... they've forgotten what gratitude from the effort and satisfaction of a job well done even feels like.

So make them feel it. Celebrate!

Step 3. Routine is everything. They need a schedule that they must stick to, doesn't matter what for, as long as it is a healthy outlet and not some kind of unhealthy environment.

Reward repetition. Set goals. Set milestones. What do they like? What would they like as a reward? What motivates them?

Step 4. Creativity. What did they like to do growing up on their own? This is the key question.

The ultimate reversal for depression is free flowing creativity. But that's not easy to accomplish. However, ANY creative outlet this person is interested in should be relentlessly pursued.

Reason being is, this is like a shortcut to all the doom & gloom running circles in their mind, driving them into this current state.

The easiest way to break-the-cycle is to learn how to flex your minds creative muscles.

Step 4a. What if they don't have one? I'd argue that they do, but we don't want to argue with a depressed individual so here's what you do instead...

You make them help others. Here's why.

Remember it's all about flipping the script... You want to make them do exactly what you are currently doing for them... for someone else.

You put them somewhere they have to be of service to others... instead of everyone always being there in service to them. Make sense? It should.

This is the full proof way to do it if nothing else works. And keep them there until they start appreciating their advantages again without always being focused on their worries.

Are we cool? I hope so.

So, in conclusion...

1. Make them move.

2. Celebrate any little step in progress.

3. Make it a routine.

4. Add a creative outlet that must fit the routine.

   4a. Your bullet-proof backup... make them serve others. The closer to what you do for them the better. The stronger the reflection, the more effect it will have.

Got it? Oh yeah one more thing.

5. Stay firm but flexible. Your goal is to teach disciplined behavior until it starts working by itself. It is not to teach robotics. Mistakes will happen. Bad days are guaranteed. So simply incorporate them as if they are part of the process... because they are. Little slip ups are ok. They will happen. Don't be a "hard ass". Just get them right back on the road again. Got it? Good.

That's not so bad right?

Look at you "coach"... not bad. Not bad at all.